Island Med Student

Check out my LAST post on Medscape (for med school, that is!) to read my reflections on the past four years.

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“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
- George Bernard Shaw

I’ve been saying this for years. We can learn SO much from kids. And we adults all need to find our “inner child.”

Thanks to my parents who also never told me “no.” They always encouraged me to be the very best that I could be. They also never told me to be a doctor or a lawyer. They told me to do what makes me happy and what makes me the best I can be. Turns out that I became a doctor anyway. Thank you mom and dad!

“To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche

“And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche

“I would believe only in a God that knows how to dance.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche

“Sometimes you just have to dance the polka to get things done.”
- Kendra Campbell

There are a million reasons why I love psych. Actually, probably over a million. But don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you to tears with all of them. Instead, let me use an example from today to explain.

As I was just walking onto the floors of the hospital to begin my endocrinology rotation today, I heard the sounds of polka coming from one of the halls. Of course, I had to explore this wonderful anomaly, so I hurried down the hall to find the source of the music. What I found was so very, very extraordinary.

I found three nurses and one physical therapist dancing in the hallway with an elderly patient wearing a hospital gown. One of the nurses was holding out her hand, with her cellphone playing some polka tunes. It was definitely a party. I definitely had to join. Without thinking, I jumped right in and started dancing with the crew. We all had entirely too much fun grooving the the music. Afterwards, I found out that the patient was demented and refusing his physical therapy. One of the nurses knew that the patient used to play in a polka band, so she had the incredibly brilliant idea to use polka to draw him out of his room, and onto his feet. It worked beautifully.

There is so much room for creativity in medicine. But sometimes it seems to me that psych might have the most room out of all specialities. And not only that, but understanding how someone’s mind works can help you in any field. This is the stuff that gets me excited. This is the stuff that drew me to medicine in the first place.

Understanding the human (and non-human) mind and behavior has always been a passion of mine. It’s what motivated me to get a degree in psychology. As a psych tech, I put all of my knowledge and education to good use. You want a very delusional patient who doesn’t believe he’s sick to take a psychotropic medication? You HAVE to get creative. You have to understand people. You have to have a desire to understand behavior and motivation. And this is a worthwhile skill in any profession. And yes, this is why I am so excited to be soon starting my residency in psychiatry. I can’t wait to develop more skills, and more understanding. And I love putting those skills and knowledge to good use. And not just in medicine, but in my daily life as well.

Perhaps we would all be a little happier if we took the time to dance the polka with a stranger every once in a while. It certainly worked for me.

Photos: From my “Improv Thanksgiving Dancing Routine” with friends, two years ago.

She awoke in the morning to the sounds of birds chirping outside her window. A quick glance at her clock revealed that it was only 6:00 a.m., too early to arise from bed on her day off from work. But the sounds of her rustling the covers awoke her black and white companion. He launched himself from the sofa onto her bed, under the covers and into her arms. She allowed him to nestle into her as she caressed his soft fur. After a few minutes of this loving interaction she realized that she was now fully awake.

Might as well get out of bed now.

She prepared her morning coffee, as she does every day: using the exact same proportions of coffee grounds to water, and sugar to milk. As she sipped her coffee and stared out the window at the sun rising on the horizon she was exhilarated by the realization that it was going to be a wonderful day away from the hospital.

The weather did not disappoint her. The temperature quickly rose to almost 60 degrees Fahrenheit and the glistening sun filled the cloudless sky.

It was going to be a good day.

After saying farewell to her partner, she looked around at her apartment for something to occupy her now empty hands. Two projects proved to be challenging, but oh so rewarding. Sewing a button onto her gray “work pants” and using needle-nosed pliers to fix a bead imbalance on a pair of earrings served to fulfill her perpetual need for accomplishment.

The day was progressing well, but the need for the warmth of sunlight and external stimulation compelled her. She fastened the leashes onto her energized, furry lovers and made her way out into the city. As she scooped up the warm piles of feces, she commented to herself how happy it made her to take care of animals in need, and she realized how caring for them extrapolated out to including anyone in need.

After a shower and preparations, she again exited her apartment, but this time for purely selfish reasons. As she listened to the melodic sounds of Bob Marley on her iPhone, she couldn’t help but allow the contagious facial muscles on her face to elevate her lips. She thought to herself about how the grin on her face seemed to affect the passersby, and that forced the grin to exaggerate to an obscene level.

All too quickly she arrived at her destination: a dilapidated store on Broadway Avenue, run entirely by Vietnamese immigrants. After “picking a color,” she was seated and proceeded to roll her jeans up to her knees. As she soaked her feet in the warm water and bubbles, her reasons for visiting this establishment were mentally affirmed. A young Vietnamese man wearing a surgical face mask and latex gloves greeted her from below.

She exposed her feet.

As he removed the previous nail polish from her toes she mused about how incredibly ugly her feet were. Large, misshapen, always calloused from compulsive running, and too wide to fit into most “cute” shoes. But it barely phased her. The thoughts were quickly replaced by the waves of relaxation and pleasure brought on by someone else’s pampering. She gave in to his magic, allowing his small, strong hands to massage away all the stress and tension that miles of running had built up in her feet.

She exited the salon in pure ecstasy, ready to take on the world.

Once home, she again leashed up her dogs, loaded film into her Holga camera, carefully placed her headphones and extraordinarily large sized sunglasses around her ears, and made her way out into the city of Brooklyn.

One mile turned into two, and two turned into four. She allowed the pure bliss of the sun caressing her shoulders, music reverberating through her tympanic membrane and sensation of her feet against the sidewalk to carry her into another dimension. She barely noticed the remarks of the people she passed on the street. The construction workers’ catcalls drifted by her like invisible smoke.

And then fate intercepted her journey. A well-Yelped restaurant met her visual field. It had outdoor seating as well. Perfect for today.

After tying her dogs to a pole, she went inside and gave into temptation. A glass of Bordeaux and a plateful of New England mussels would fulfill her wildest palatal desires.

She sat outside on the patio in the warmth of the sun, her black and white furry companion on her lap, and her brown one at her feet. She savored every last drop of the wine and even chewed the raw oysters for the first time, so that she could make the moment last even longer. People walking by were barely visible, as she was blinded by her own ecstasy.

The three mile walk home was an artistic orgasm. She snapped photos on her manual film camera with wild abandon. So what if the film was incredibly expensive, there was art to be made! Photographic opportunity after photographic opportunity filled her path. And she was not shy about capturing every last pixel of it.

Once home she contemplated her day’s journeys. Yes, today WAS a good day. But not because of all the externalities and environmental adventures. She had allowed herself to create a good day.

“The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best – and therefore never scrutinize or question.”
- Stephen Jay Gould

Today was a wonderful day of pediatrics clinic. I saw, I learned, I made way too many kids cry with my prodding and poking. During some downtime today started talking with another med student about taking patient histories. He commented how that was his least favorite part of being a doctor. I realized that it was my most favorite part of being a doctor. For me, there is nothing as fascinating as getting to know a person, and hearing their story.

I guess it’s no surprise that I ended up in psychiatry. Psych is all about getting to know the stories that made and make a person an individual. To me, taking a history or listening to someone share their life’s details with me is like opening a gift box. I enjoy peeling back the layers to reveal the gift inside.

Please enjoy the trashy photos along with today’s post. I took them all on my walks to and from the hospital today. It occurred to me as I was snapping the shot of the discarded hotdog that one of the reasons I enjoy (and am possibly obsessed with) taking photos of trash is because I’m interested in the stories they tell. How did that pile of smashed up computer parts end up so non-randomly assembled on the sidewalk? Why did someone discard that hotdog after only one small bite?

Perhaps just as fun as knowing the stories behind the trash, is making up my own stories for them.

“Yo Brooklyn, Fuhgeddaboudit” Photo Series

I only have a second to type, as I have to go in right now for a peds 12-hour night call. I just want to let the world know that I am happier than I’ve ever been. Everything has just been coming together lately. I couldn’t be happier with the road I’ve travelled.

Yesterday (my birthday) was great! I got tons of happy birthday wishes (thank you, everyone!), and I got to do one of my most favorite things, lay in bed all day, pig out, and watch movies. It was very relaxing, and just what I needed.

Today was long, and wonderful. I just got home from 13 hours at the hospital for my pain management rotation. I’m too tired to share all the juicy details, but I got to see a lot of great cases and meet some wonderful patients. One of them was an ex IVDA (IV drug abuser), whose veins were all shot from years of abuse. He told me that he’d be a hard stick, so I spared him my poking, and got the anesthesiologist to place his IV access. I ended up talking to him for a while before his operation, and afterwards. He really opened up to me and shared some of his most intimate details. He told me how guilty he felt for abusing his body for so many years, and I pointed out to him that the most important thing is that he now takes care of himself, and has grown as a person. Eventually, he was in tears and I held his hand and tried to support him. Those are the moments that make long days completely bearable, and even more than that, meaningful.

Tomorrow I have a residency interview in Brooklyn. But now, it’s time to feed my calorie-starved body!

“Yo Brooklyn, Fuhgeddaboudit” Photo Series

“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.”
- Ben Williams

My mom recently sent me the above quote, and I thought it was too cute not to share. T’is soo very true! As I was searching for the above photo of my doggy Scope licking my face, I stumbled across the two below, and wanted to share them as well.

Today was a good day of “pain management.” I assisted on a cervical and lumbar epidural procedure, and observed a few others. I also had a nice, long talk with one of my patients about exercise. He had become overweight and it was exacerbating his spinal stenosis. Over the past year he’d lost 65 pounds, and he found that the weight loss had helped immensely with his pain. We started talking about how much we both enjoy exercise, and at one moment I had to grab his hand and just scream, “I KNOW!” because we both had the exact same feelings on exercise. We agreed that that there’s nothing more exhilarating than your own body’s endorphins, and a runner’s high is perhaps the best thing in the universe.

Anyway, it’s time for me to continue catching up on emails. If anyone out there is having a bad day, I recommend going for a run, or walk, or anything that gets your heart rate up. That, or find a cute puppy to lick your face!

I remember the last few months of my grandfather’s life. His Alzheimer’s was progressing and his memories were fading. I remember him calling me “Linda” (my mother’s name) and asking me about how my day at school went. I remember how I felt, and thinking how precious memories truly are. I call myself a “life enthusiast,” and to me that has many meanings. I try to enjoy even the smallest of pleasures and treasure every day that I get on this planet. I’ve been blessed with so many wonderful memories. And it’s easy sometimes to forget how very lucky I am. I think that’s one of the reasons that I enjoy documenting my life so much. It’s why I’m constantly taking pictures, videos, and writing about my experiences. For me, it’s a tangible way of preserving my life.

I took the photo above some months ago, and forgot to post it on my site. As I was going through my photos just now, I stumbled upon it, and it brought back all the wonderful memories associated with the night I took it. Please enjoy the photo, and my updated “Video A Day” (days 1 – 23) project below. I enjoy them both immensely.

“Yo Brooklyn, Fuhgeddaboudit” Photo Series

“When I admire the wonder of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in worship of the Creator.”
-Mahatma Gandhi

Photo taken today on my walk home from the hospital. My iPhone doesn’t do it justice.

“Yo Brooklyn, Fuhgeddaboudit” Photo Series