Doctors Are Human, Too?
The past few weeks of my life have been a bit of a blur. I am in the middle of taking all my final exams for this semester, and I’ve had a lot of personal issues to deal with at the same time. I made a bad decision a week ago, and I’ve been dealing with the fallout since then. All the issues swirling around in my life have really shaken me up a bit, and I feel like I’m on unsteady ground. I can’t help but feel guilt about all the problems that I’ve recently had.
I’ve been asking myself why I’m subjecting myself to the torture of medical school. Of course, I have many answers to this question, but it’s easy for them to fade away in the background of all the other things going on in my life. The real question I’ve found myself asking is, “How can I be a doctor and role model to others, if my own life is in such disarray?”
I guess I’ve had a belief that doctors are somehow superior humans, and that they don’t have the same problems and crises that everyone else has. When I think about it, I realize that this is a completely false belief, but I have it at times nonetheless. A part of it may be that I don’t come from a family of doctors. In fact, I will be the first person in my entire family to become a doctor. I didn’t grow up with any friends who were doctors, so I really know very little about their personal lives. I’m sure this contributes to my putting them up on pedestals and forgetting that they are people just like anyone else.
I feel very torn on the whole issue. On one hand, I feel like as a doctor, I need to be a role model, and be someone who deals with all their problems efficiently, and leaves their personal life at home. But on the other hand, I realize that, try as I might, I’m going to have problems, and I’ll always be far from perfect. The problem is trying to reconcile these two opposing beliefs. Why should I feel guilty about not living up to certain standards? I guess it’s my own standards that really matter. The problem is that they can be unfairly high at times.
I do wonder if it would be different for me if I had grown up with someone in my life that I watched go to medical school, and whom I could really know as a role model. Would that have made a difference in my perception of doctors? If I had come from a family of doctors, would it be easier for me to remember that doctors are just people too?
My name is Kendra and I am a fourth-year medical student attending 
Well, ok sometimes it is perhaps hard to admit and difficult to believe that one is human, especially, it now seems, when one is studying to be a docter. I would though like to request that you try to keep that humanity going – it looks a lot better and is certainly more inspiring. It is besides one of your stronger points…so show it off! It feels great.