I’m sitting on my bed right now bored out of my gourd. Yeah, I have stuff that I could be doing right now, but I’m not really motivated to do it. I don’t know if it’s the oh-dear-god-it’s-m-in-hot-as-hell heat outside, or the fact that this semester is going by about as quickly as Bush’s war in Iraq. But, man, time has sure been dragging on. Now, I know that as soon as I type these words, a space ship is going to land outside and shoot laser beams at me, which will speed time up to near the speed of light, but I’m going to say it anyway. Second year is so slow!! I don’t know if it’s the material, or the fact that I have one less class, but I have found myself with piles of extra time lately. For someone who is used to a packed schedule, with little time to breathe, it’s actually kind of scary. I know that I should be reveling in the fact that I actually have free time, but for some reason, I can’t seem to enjoy it. I don’t want to take my time. I want to get this party started!
I think a contributing factor is the Behavioral Science class that I’m taking. I was a psych and philosophy major in undergrad, and so far, everything that we’ve been taught in Behavioral is peanuts compared to what I’ve already learned. So, I don’t really have to study for that class at all. (Although since I just said that, I’m pretty sure I’ll end up failing the first mini and I’ll kick myself in the arse later.) When you consider that the Introduction to Clinical Medicine course takes up not all that much time, I’m only left with three classes: Pathology, Microbiology & Immunology, and Pharmacology. I wouldn’t say that these are really EASY classes, but so far (I know I’m going to get struck by lightning for saying this), they have been pretty manageable.
Okay, I think I just figured out what the problem is. The problem is me. I NEED to be challenged. No seriously, I NEED it. If I’m doing anything at all, and it’s not challenging, I get bored off my tookus. Now that I think about it, that’s been the story of my life. I got bored with high school, so I quit (that’s another long story). I was bored working for the AAMC, so I quit. If I’m not being challenged, I get insanely fidgety, and I feel like giving up and moving on to something more demanding. I know that right now, there are a million things that I could be doing to be preparing for my upcoming exams and practicals, yet I’m not doing them because I know that I can “get by” and twiddle my thumbs right now, and still end up with a decent grade in the class.
This sucks. I don’t want to be that type of person. Okay, people can change. I can change. I’m taking a vow right now. I’m going to cease looking towards other people to create challenging experiences for me. I need to start going out and finding them on my own. Hmmm, this should be interesting. Well, here goes nuttin.
PS: The two pics in this post were taken by my friend Mimi. You’re looking at the deck beside the Caribbean Sea, on our campus. A very nice lady (Rudy from Rainbow Yoga) teaches yoga classes on the deck three times a week, and I’ve just started going. If you EVER get the chance to do yoga on a deck beside the Sea, I beg of you to DO IT! I promise that it will be experience that you’ll savor to the last drop of sweat.
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