The past few weeks of my life have been a blur. I’ve been on pain meds, cold meds, antibiotics, and anti-diarrheals. It feels as though I’ve been living in a sickness- and med school-induced haze, and time has melted together like the puddle of sweat that invariably follows me around on the swelteringly hot Caribbean days. I’ve somehow survived a surgery, a nasty virus, an anatomy practical, and a huge exam covering biochemistry, anatomy, histology, physiology, and neuroscience. My brain feels like sludge, I need to change the bandage on my breast, and my legs haven’t seen the sharp side of a razor in many ages. I feel like some kind of stereotypical cartoon character of a med student. I mean, how many med students actually make it through their entire education without feeling like this at some point? I doubt there are many.
Throughout these trying times, I’ve done my very best to remember my mantra: “what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger.” I know that somewhere deep inside, I believe that to be true. So, I just had to convince myself repeatedly of this fact. Well, I’m still alive, and I don’t know if I feel so much stronger, but I certainly do feel like I accomplished something.
How did I make it through all this alive? Well, I can say that a huge part of my ability to deal with all the stress has been the support of all my friends and family. As I’ve stated before, I have the benefit of an incredibly loving and supportive circle of friends and family. They really are spectacular. I’ve also had the support of complete and total strangers. How many people are that lucky? I’ve received comments and emails from people from all over the world, and I want everyone to know how thankful I am. To all of you out there who have sent me notes and comments, please know that I am so very grateful. I won’t forget how kind you’ve all been to me.
In my first blog entry for The Differential, I anticipated that the light at the end of the med school tunnel would sometimes fade into a faint flicker, and I said that I would do my best to remember that the light is always still there. I must say honestly that over the past few weeks, the light grew so dim that I could barely make it out. But, thanks to everyone out there, I managed to remember that it was there.
Today, I got my grades back from the big exam I took last week. I absolutely aced it. I was floored when I got my results. Even though I fell behind, I kept going. Even when I could barely read, I kept studying. And it seems to have really paid off. Now, I just have to keep up the momentum for another few weeks, and this semester will be over. For all of you med students and non-med students out there, I want you to please remember that no matter how bad things get, you should never give up. If you are ever tempted to lose hope, just imagine me sitting in my bed with a purple breast, hallucinating on cold meds, coughing up all colors of sputum, trying to memorize the symptoms of unconjugated hyperbilirubinemias, and it might not help, but I guarantee that it will make you smile.
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Hello ya’ll. Today I started studying for the beginning of the end. I’m going to be so busy studying for the next three weeks that I’m scared I might not make it back to the other side of sanity. Just in case you’re wondering what my exam schedule looks like (all ye masochists), here ya go:
My name is Kendra and I am a newly minted doctor about to begin my residency in Psychiatry at 
