Island Med Student

I have a Word document that I’ve created as a means of keeping track of all the volumes of information that I’m expected to know. I’m into my fourth week of classes, and it’s 90+ pages long (and that’s just the very very condensed form of what I need to know). Of course, since it’s medical lingo, Word doesn’t recognize many of the words in its dictionary, and marks them as misspelled by underlining them in red. As I was typing just now, I got a message from Word which I found very amusing: “There are too many spelling errors in this document to continue displaying them.” Nice.

First of all, I wanna give out shout out to my homey, Dav. Don’t worry, I still love you Dav. I just haven’t heard from you in a while. Maybe you’ll come visit me and bring strawberries? I could really use some strawberries.

Secondly, I just wanted to say that I’m pretty sure that the entire school thinks I’m crazy. Whilst I used to save my maniacal grinning for the metro tunnels, I now enjoy bringing those bad boys out at the library. For those of you who don’t know, I sometimes like to smile inappropriately so as to arouse the suspicions of people. So, when I walk into the dead silent library, stuffed full of frazzled med students, I bust that sucker out and people aren’t quite sure what to think. Man, that’s fun.

Thirdly, I wanted to say that I hope that my nipple never gets cut open. I guess this is kind of a strange statement, but yesterday they did the breast and pectoral dissections in anatomy class and they had to dissect all of the skin and fat off of the breast, leaving just the nipple. They then sliced the nipple in half and left it hanging. When I walked in and saw my cadaver’s nipple sliced open, I grabbed my breast in reflexive empathy.

I just want to say that I am the luckiest girl in the universe. I have the very bestest friends a girl could ask for. Specifically, I would like to send shout outs to Laura, Nate, Scotty Circus Boy, Micah and Wally. You guyz make me proud to be an illegal alien (as of yesterday I am illegal). Also, I only wish that it weren’t illegal in both Dominica and the US of A to have mutiple marriages, because I would like to marry each and every one of you.

Also, I would like to tell you that I was studying just now and listening to my classical music selection on iTunes, like I do, and all of a sudden Moloko came on. That’s right, for some very bizarre reason, my iTunes thinks that my Carmina Burana soundtrack is Moloko. Umm, okay.

Also, wally, your comment was way too kewl to be obscured in the depths of my website. Here it is for errybody in the club to see. Also (I like also), here is a pic of what I fell in a ditch for. Good night all.

it’s all in the grapefruit.
and all these crazy details resolve into nothing more complex or difficult to understand than the dance floor of apex on lady’s night.
you just have to recognize their grapefruit – everything has a center from which it relates to all other things.
understand that, and it opens up like a sweaty blouse on a hot night after all the proper attentions.
cheers, beav.
you can do it. just gotta let the yellow orb rule, since it writes the “laws” anyway.
and if all else fails, seek out the fluffy bunnies. they’ll remind you better than i, any day.
-
wally

In Dominica it rains pretty much every day. Frequently, the high quantity of rain causes the rivers to flood, and the water supplying houses becomes brown with dirt. Kendra had to take a shower this morning because she had to rinse out her hair dye. However, the water was a nice shade of poop brown. What is the effect of these “dirty water” showers on Kendra’s overall cleanliness?

A. She ends up being dirtier after the shower than she was before getting in
B. She ends up being cleaner after the shower, considering that Kendra is generally very dirty
C. I don’t feel like answering the question
D. What kind of loser would take a shower in poop brown water?

I’m only done with my third week of medical school, but I already feel like a different person. The events of the past 3 weeks have tested me on almost every level. Is it okay that I already feel like medical school is an overwhelming juggernaut looming on my horizon? I’ve been told that the first semester of medical school is “the easiest”, as it’s a lot of review, and less material than the rest of the semesters. Does this mean that I am going to fail? If this is considered “easy,” then I’m definitely not ready for “difficult.”

In the past week alone, I’ve experienced every possible emotion. I’ve gone from being completely excited and ecstatic about medical school, to completely depressed and sure that I’m going to fail. To add to my stress, I acquired a nasty cold last weekend, and my energy and strength are dwindling.

In my moments of despair, I thought back to the words of our dean who greeted us before classes began. She said that throughout your medical education, you must ask yourself, “How will this make me a better doctor?” I didn’t fully grasp what she meant at the time, and I’m not sure I fully grasp it now, but I think I might be starting to understand.

A few days ago, as I sat in the library, staring at the insurmountable mound of information on my desk, I felt despair when trying to memorize the structures of every amino acid. “This should be easy,” I said to myself. “Why can’t I memorize this?” Yet, no matter how many times I looked at the molecules, when I looked away, I instantly forgot the structure. My despair turned to anger. Why do I need to memorize these stupid structures anyway? Why am I torturing myself? And then it occurred to me to ask a different question: “How will this make me a better doctor?” I realized that not only did I need to know the structures of all the amino acids in order to understand protein interactions, and hence a huge component of how the human body works, but I needed to be able to tackle a problem and come up with a good solution, without completely freaking out.

Don’t doctors need to be able to do that? If you’re treating a patient and you can’t figure out exactly what’s wrong with them, it’s a bad idea to pull your hair out and stamp your feet! You must be able to calmly address the problem and figure out a reasonable solution. So, I did. I came up with a silly mnemonic, which helped me remember the characteristics and structures of the amino acids.

The past 2 weeks have been full of similar examples. When my electricity went out, and I was running a fever, and it was over 80 degrees in my bedroom, I asked myself, “How will this make me a better doctor?” When I had to lug my 100-pound bag of books up a steep hill and I fell down and skinned my knee, I asked myself, “How will this make me a better doctor?” When I was so sick that I could barely move and my significant other needed help, I asked myself, “How will this make me a better doctor?”

I found out that every time I asked myself that question, I was able to come up with a very good answer, and by doing so I was able to find some solace. Now, as I sit here in the silent and frigid library, surrounded by piles of books, diagrams, and anatomical flash cards, I’m still convinced that I’m losing my mind. The toilet paper stuffed in my nose is saturated and beginning to drip, and I know that there is no way I will be able to study everything in front of me. But I know that I can still ask myself, “How will this make me a better doctor?”

Click Here To View the Original Post on Medscape

Yesterday was an interesting day. I had a long day of studying in the library, I played tennis for the first time since 8th grade, and I got to meet one of the Ross University EMTs!

Here’s the story. I was taking a break from studying to go grab a prune yogert cup and watch the sunset over the water, like I love to do. But when I came out of the snack shop, I realized that I was missing the sunset because it was already starting to fade away. I realized that I needed to go all of the way down to the water to be able to catch the last few seconds of the sunset, so I started running full speed ahead to the stairway that leads down to the beach. For those of you who don’t know me personally, let me explain something. When I get really super excited about something, I get tunnel vision and stop paying attention to everything save for what I am obsessed with at the moment. At that moment, I was obsessed with catching the sunset, and that was all that mattered.
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I’m terribly exhausted right now, so I’ll only say a few words. Tonight I had a conversation with Sarah, another first semester Ross student. She talked about how she wanted to go to Ross, even though many people challenged her decision. I totally understood how she felt, and identified with every word she uttered. I don’t remember the exact analogy she used, because my brain is so fried right now, but I know she said something about how becoming a doctor and going through medical school is similar to choosing the route you might take on a trip. Some people choose the shorter, simpler route, even though it might not have as much beautiful scenery. Both of us may have chosen the longer, more arduous journey, but we have the opportunity to stop along the way, and take in all the beauty around us. We also will have the ability to understand our patients who may not have had easy paths in their lives. And in the end, both the other students and ourselves will make it to the same destination of becoming doctors. If you ever read this Sarah, I just wanted to say thank you for being you, and thank you for sharing your story with me. You are definitely not alone.

Today was a good day. I don’t know if it’s because my cold symptoms have gotten better or if it’s just the formaldehyde in the anatomy lab, but I’m beginning to remember why I came to medical school in the first place. I had a good conversation with a student last night about the fact that we were both crazy as hell to have given up perfectly good jobs and comfortable lives to move to a third world country and torture ourselves for 16+ hours a day by force feeding our brains with more information than they can handle. There must have been a good reason for making such a silly decision. Of course, there was. We both want to be doctors. I stink of formaldehyde right now, and I have cadaver juices all over my scrubs, but I’ve been studying all day anyway. I think the guy beside me is wishing that I would have showered, but I didn’t have the time. Today I’ve been able to keep a smile on my face all day, and for those of you who actually know me, that means I might just be finding myself again.

(Yes, I made this up just now, and yes, it helps)

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without anatomy books by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how I’d get my innervation wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so I’m back
from the library space
I just walked in to find my anatomy cards
with that sad look upon my face
I should have changed my stupid studying habits
I should have memorized the blood supplies
If I had known for just one second
they’d be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the lab
just turn around now
’cause you don’t need to study anymore
weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with your scalpel
you think I’d crumble
you think I’d lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as I know how to prosect
I know I will stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my anatomy knowledge to give
and I’ll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my cut lattisimus dorsi
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I’m not that anatomy ignorant person
still in annoyed with you
and so you felt like quizzing me
and just expect me to not know
now I’m saving all my anatomy class
for someone who can teach me

I will survive
as long as I know how to prosect
I know I will stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my anatomy knowledge to give
and I’ll survive
I will survive

I apologize for the lack of posts for a few days, but I’ve been on a mental roller coaster for the past couple of days. On Saturday, I woke up to one of the worst colds that I’ve experienced in a while. My nostrils were clogged and my neck was so sore that it hurt to move. By Saturday night, the snot from my nose was dripping into my mouth like an IV drip on speed. At around 1:00 in the morning on Sunday, I awoke to the sounds of my partner Micah in the bathroom. Neither one of us slept the rest of the night, and Micah spent the entire night on the toilet. On Sunday morning, I dragged myself out of bed to walk down to the pharmacy to get some meds. I found out that it was closed on Sundays, so I had to get the security to come pick up Micah and take him to the doctor.
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