I am very content right now. I have a bunch of thoughts rumbling around in my head but don’t have the energy to put them all into coherent sentences right now, so please excuse my words.
Right now I am listening to random Bob Marley songs, and “No woman no cry” just came on. Bob Marley is one of my top 5 (maybe #1) of all musicians, and this song is definitely a very good one. Everything’s gonna be alright. Simple, but brilliant, lyrics.
I had a great day at the hospital today. I do doctor stuff. I know how to do doctor stuff. I know which questions to ask, how to perform a decent physical exam, which labs to order, how to diagnose, how to present a case. I’m still far from being able to function capably as a doctor, but I just keep realizing how far I’ve come. I can say stuff like “patient presented with hematochezia, denies hematemesis, their LFTs are elevated, and their Child’s class is B,” and this actually means something. Before med school, this would have sounded like gibberish to me. Sometimes I hear myself saying stuff and I think, OMG, I can’t believe I even know what all this means. I’ve come so far.
I just updated my “about” section on the right to say “fourth-year” med student. I will be finished with med school in 9 short months. I will be able to introduce myself as “Dr. Campbell.” It’s all a little mystifying.
I had a patient yesterday say to me, “when you graduate, will you be my doctor?” And he really meant it. Today, I told a woman that she didn’t have cancer. She hugged me and cried. It’s all so very surreal. It’s hard for me to believe that my dreams are coming true.
I love my life right now. I live in a city that I’ve always wanted to live in. I have a loving partner who supports me. I have two doggies who are the apples of my eye. I have really, really amazing family and friends. I’m almost a doctor. I enjoy what I do. I have plans for changing the world. I want to break down barriers and make a difference in people’s lives. I believe in standing up for something that is right, regardless of what other people say. I have a dream that one person can be the change that they believe in. And I’m starting to realize that it’s not just a dream. And, well, everthing’s gonna be alright.
Note: Photo is me and my fellow family medicine peeps (Ajay and Ronak) on the train to Manhattan a few weeks ago to celebrate the end of our rotation.