Living in the Moment
A week ago I began the end-of-semester final exam marathon, which involves eight exams. I just finished exam number six, which means I only have two left to go. My brain is tired, my motivation is dwindling, and my enthusiasm with med school is at an all time low. I’m at the end of my second year of medical education. On the horizon is the beginning of my third year, which will involve actually working with real, live patients in a real hospital. I’m looking forward to that, but I’m struggling mentally to finish this semester.
As all of you students and physicians out there know all too well, med school is basically about jumping through thousands of hoops to get to the final destination of becoming a practicing physician. I’ve experienced many setbacks along the way, but I’ve kept trudging along. First there were the pre-med classes and the MCAT, then came applying to med school (which involves about a million little hoops). Once you’ve been accepted, there are endless forms, exams and challenges. Each time you get to the next step, you give it all you’ve got, and then you look on your horizon and see the next hoop looming before you.
I’ve always been a somewhat spontaneous person. Okay, actually I would say that I’m prone to non-random bouts of calculated spontaneity. But nonetheless, I do have some flickers of true spontaneity. I also have always enjoyed living in the moment. I try to cherish the here and now, without always worrying about the future. This isn’t exactly congruent with the med school experience. It’s quite challenging to focus on all the tasks and exams at hand while at the same time living in the moment. This is the paradox that I face.
I’m trying to come up with a solution to this daunting issue. Is it really possible to keep your eye on the prize (graduating from med school) while continuing to appreciate life as you’re living it? My gut tells me that it is, but it will probably continue to be a challenge. I have two more huge exams looming on the horizon. After that, I will have to make it through the next semester at the hospital. After that, I will have to pass the USMLE Step 1. After that, I will have to fill out forms and get accepted into a clinical rotation. After that…okay, I think you get the picture.
Perhaps it’s better to just try and live life to the very fullest every day — savor every last yummy drop of life’s nectar — but always with one eye on the next goal ahead. Is this even possible? It certainly does sound nice. But for now, I don’t have another exam for two days, so I’ll just celebrate the one I just took with a glass of wine, and try my very best to savor its nectar.
My name is Kendra and I am a fourth-year medical student attending