Island Med Student

[dominican island accent] So, for all of you nonbelievers out dair, I have a tale; a tale of how de believen is wair tisat. Tonight my bum friend Micah and I had dinna, and ova dinna we discussed how his luuugage was still lost and I told him how we wa gonna find it. I told him abute gawd. And I dun mean your average gawd allah or de christian gawd. No, I mean de gawd that exists on some strange karmic level. I speak of de gawd that does good for you when you do good fo udders. De gawd dat propagates de good energy of de universe. I told him to pray, to pray to doze gawds. He did not. But I did. I prayed to dem and assed dem to understand how much our luggage meant to us, and to take a good hawd look at how much good we had dun in our lives, and how much good we would do. Well, they listened to me. Micah’s luggage came. He doesn’t believe my praying had anytang to do whitch it. But I did. And I tank eventually he will get it. Gawd bless him, mon, and all of you too. [/dominican island accent]